I realized something, and that is the fact that I'm responsible in some way or another for just about everything that has happened to me in my life. For example, I graduated from high school well over a year ago and am now working the same retail job, without a license, and feeling completely miserable about it. That has been my choice since I haven't done anything to change it. Dropping out of college when I finally gained full acceptance, not to mention a student loan and bursaries on top of it all, might not have been the best idea.
Another example: I'm suddenly lacking a relationship after close to 3 years of being with the same person. That could possibly have something to do with me shoving him out the door and slamming it on his face. Granted, I only did that because I was sensing (correctly) his plan to cheat on me. It still didn't do anything to help my situation, before that I'd hardly so much as raised my voice at him.
And so with this realization, I will stop dwelling on the past and blaming others for my lack of satisfaction. I'm not going to let my art suffer just because I'd rather lay in bed and pity myself all day, because if it wasn't for these particular events I wouldn't have discovered it in the first place. From here on out I will leave the past where it belongs, consider the consequences of my actions, and make good decisions. Starting.....NOW.